I met Marlin almost 40 years ago when Jan and I were dating. I remember his 50th birthday party, he was a big guy, my height but thicker and he had a black moustache. The kind of guy you did not want to have the guard on a basketball court. It was not long into knowing Marlin that I found out he had played Freshman basketball at The Ohio State University. Not being deterred by his presence and probably seeing past his tough exterior Jan and I got married and Marlin became my father in law.
Hospice for many in the family was bittersweet. I spent more time one on one with Marlin in the past 6 months than I did in the past 40 years. He had a lot to say, and often it was only me and my dog there to hear it. Marlin was in the Navy, I asked him one day about the boat he was on…”David, it was a Ship” Recently being in Pearl Harbor I wondered how he navigated the “Ship” being such a big guy, and sharing bunks/toilets and showers. “David, I was an officer, we had our own quarters”. I learned he was a Proud man, an Officer on a Ship in the Navy.
We spent a lot of time in Sunriver at the vacation home Marlin and Nancy build. Many great memories there with the family, grandkids and dogs. I came into the family with limited skiing ability. My first day skiing with them Marlin pulled me to the side and said “let the girls go, we can go this way”. And he helped me get my legs, spending the time to teach me how to keep up. So I learned he cared and was a good teacher.
Over the past few months we talked about where he grew up (New York), where he went to school (The Ohio State) where he met Nancy (Greenville, IL) where he worked (Pet Milk & Smuckers). We talked about his time with the Mazamas, the Fruit processors and even a little about his favorite team to root for. At Smucker’s, I knew him as the regional plant manager for Oregon and Washington, based in Woodburn. He knew the Smucker family personally and they wanted him to move back to the headquarters to take on a larger role. When he considered this with the family the vote was stay in Oregon. So I learned he valued family above all.
In my last visit with Marlin, I wheeled him to breakfast, we had just returned from the UK with Ron and Lisa. And he wanted to know about the trip. Then he asked about us hosting Julie and Chris in Corvallis for the next weekends football game. He expressed how deeply grateful he was that we were doing these things together, as a family. He absolutely loved his grankids, all 10 of them. And in return, they loved him. Most of the time he wanted to know what was happening with everyone and would share what he had heard on the last visit from one of them. His deep gratitude and love for his family was at the root of his existence.
A few years ago, Marlin gave me a baton, it was his dads. Its wooden, and signed by the relay team Ike was on. Since I had also ran track and participated on relay teams, it was something I had admired and commented on over the years. When he gave it to me, I did not think about the symbolism. It seems so obvious now, he was passing the torch: be a good teacher, be proud & care, be loyal and love your family.
Marlin, you will be greatly missed…but we will not forget.